Grandpa

The Autumn months bring a bittersweet holiday for my family. My father's birthday has become a way for us to honor his life, which he lost four years ago to cancer. His birthday for the past three years has bookmarked the beginning of a tough holiday season, one that I have struggled through with the help of amazing friends and family. Although I haven't ever wrote about it on this blog - many of you know that I lost my father but also my stepfather in the winter of 2007. Within three weeks, I lost two important men in my life and frankly the holidays have never quite looked the same. Last year, as I remembered them during this time - I carried a secret. A little baby. Along with my supreme happiness, I wondered how hard it would be to bring my sweet baby into the world without these two people who had meant so much to me.

I miss them everyday and I wish that they could share in the happiness of our sweet little girl. I wish they could teach her things and tell her stories. But every now and then, when I look at Jordan - I see a hint of my dad. It might be her smile or her laugh but it's there. And I realize that these two men who made such an impact on me, will have a presence in Jordan's life. Only time will tell if she inherits my dad's sweet heart or red hair. Something tells me she might be a great listener & be a bit ornery like Don. In any case, I will continue to tell her stories about both of them. And I realize how lucky she is to have three other grandfathers (two of them Great Grandfathers), three uncles and one amazing dad.

In our tradition, we eat ice cream cones to celebrate my dad's birthday. The holidays don't seem quite as sad this year. Not with this little present under my tree.